Unsettled and Unsure ...

Do women have mid-life crises? (plural of crisis ... don't know proper spelling and too lazy to ask Webster) If so, I think I may be on the cusp of one ... I've been through enough in the past 4 years, you'd think I'd have already surpassed it, but I don't think so. If I could describe how I feel right now, it would be ... unsettled. The job I'm in right now, I'm purely doing it for the $$, not because I totally believe in it. I don't particularly enjoy it, but then, who ever said we get to enjoy our work? Where did I come up with that idea, anyway? I don't loathe it .. it's "just a job". Being a nurse, I don't like feeling that way. As a nurse, I like to know that I'm making a difference in peoples' lives. Unfortunately, the economy is dictating things at this point.

If you follow my blog, you know I was looking into a Hospice job a few weeks back ... I interviewed, and was invited for a 2nd interview, so feel the job could have been mine, but ... I balked and backed away from it. Reason 1) turned out to be a PRN position, not full-time (though with the promise of becoming full-time eventually). Reason 2) it didn't feel right to me. SO, I'd decided to just pursue a relief position at my old hospital for extra money and stick with my current job and "make the best of it". I was OK with this ... till yesterday.

Went and filled out my new-hire paperwork at my old hospital ... I'm a "re-hire", so was able to forego a lot of the new-hire hooplah. Sat down with my old Supervisor, Ms. L, and she nearly broke down in tears, she was so happy I was back in the picture. Things on our floor have been declining over the past year, which I knew about, but apparently worsening over the past 2 months ... to the point where 2 of our busiest Surgeons have asked for a meeting with Ms. L to figure out what's going on and "what can we do to help?" ...

Now here's the part where I sort-of toot my own horn a bit. I've been gone for a little over a year ... when I worked there as the Charge Nurse, we had a pretty good flow ... the docs had faith in me .. the nurses had faith in me .... now, don't get me wrong, sometimes I felt like locking myself in the bathroom and crying, it was so busy and seemed unmanageable, but for the most part, it was good. Another Charge nurse stepped up when I left .. she was OK, but the staff and docs didn't like her as well ... she was abrasive at times, and actually refused to "go that extra step" for the nurses, as she felt that I spoiled them. Well, she left back in August to try the travel nurse thing ... since that time, it's been a disaster on that floor. Even the Hospitalists are complaining about our care. The times I've visited, I've noticed the low morale amongst the nurses. For the first time, I noticed it yesterday in Ms. L.

Everyone was glad to see me, and even more glad to hear I was returning, even if it was just 1 day/week. Ms. L asked me what it would take to bring me back on full-time ... I gave her an hourly range and she will be presenting it to her supervisor. I got caught up in the moment and really forgot my whole reason for being there ... to make EXTRA money ... if I go back there full-time, and they give me the least of what I asked for, I'll be making about the same $$/month as I'm making now ... now, I know I could pick up an extra shift/week, but we're talkin about another back-breaking 12 hours ... BUT approximately another $400/shift (after taxes). I would be working three 12s/week (36 hours) ... with most likely the option of the additional shift, if I wanted it. Not bad ... again, comes back to the money. But also, involves working only 3-4 days/week (and home by 8pm daily!) ... 36-48 hours/week ... My goal is to get these damn credit cards paid off within 5 years.

When I got home and actually thought about things, my thought was to, again, stick with my current job and make the best of it ... do 1 shift/week at the hospital, which would be around $250/shift (after taxes) and just be faithful about working on the debt. This would mean working 5 days/week (four 10s at current job, one 12 at hospital)... 52 hours/week. So .... I'm UNSETTLED. UNSURE. But thankful to have options. Just wish I knew exactly what to do.

Sorry for the long rant about work stuff ... when I started this post today, I had no idea it'd turn into such a long one! Good to get it all out, though. Actually helps to read it and see it in black and white.

As always, any input is welcomed. Happy HumpDay to ya'll. :)

Luggage is safer than patients?

Ahh ... Monday .... wet Monday. We are getting another soaking rain today, with the threat of severe thunderstorms later in the afternoon. I'm doing a bit of OT today (agreed to 10a-4p) ... let's hope my connection cooperates! The grass and shrubs are looking devine! Here's a couple of shots of what it looked like as the storm approached last Friday.
We spent some time in the closet Friday evening, at my urging!!! I swear, Marty was willing to ride it out on the front porch with the camera ... not ME. I hear sirens, and it's automatic for me ... no dilly-dallying around!!! You would think I had a firecracker in my drawers ... I'm OUTTA there.

The lake this weekend is lookin great as well ... the water has nearly made it back into the cove and our neighbors' dock is actually floating again! I had a great time watching them with their 3 dogs this weekend. Looks like they have a couple of Golden Retreivers and 1 terrier-sort dog (tail curled up on it's back) Those dogs sure do love the water! We got our bed set up and the kitchen/living room painted (for the most part ... still have a bit left). It's lookin good! Built a fire Saturday night and after dinner, we all sat around singing, dancing, and laughing.




Yesterday, Kayla and I went to see "I Love You, Man" ... it was OK. The funniest parts were shown in the previews. Came home, threw some chops on the grill, and sat out on the deck and drank a beer and munched on some leftover cucumber salsa. Just a really laid-back weekend. :)

Good Lord ... on GMA just now, they did a little clip on hospital patient safety, and compared it to flying ... did you know that a piece of luggage at an airport is safer than a patient in the hospital? Have you SEEN how luggage is handled????? How it sometimes gets lost and doesn't make it to it's destination????????? Ooooohhhhhhh .... scarey. But, unfortunately, I can see it ... *shaking my head*

Happy Monday, folks ...

Introducing ...

I'm about to make a batch of my famous Cucumber Salsa ... to see a recipe, please check out Maizie's blog! She's such a sneaky puppy!! heh heh heh

BIG thunderstorms, hail, tornadoes heading our way ... hope they fizzle out as they move across Georgia!

Tossin it around

Happy Good Friday!!!

I've been reading a lot more blogs lately ... and am pleasantly surprised to find all these talented blogging dogs! I am sure Maizie has some writing talent, if I could just get her to slow down long enough. She still has quite a short attention span, unless it involves human food, then she is FOCUSED. Perhaps she could start her very own recipe blog. Hmmmm ... she may be on to something here.

Toilets and a Ceiling

I got this email yesterday at work and thought it was worth sharing here ...

Awesome Toilet
THE LADY IS GETTING READY TO ENTER!!
This is a picture of a public toilet in Houston

Now that you've seen the outside view,
take a look at the inside view....

It's made entirely of one-way glass!

No one can see you from the outside, but when
you are inside it's like sitting in a clear
glass box!

Now would you... COULD YOU....???


BATHROOM
PAINTED FLOOR!!!

IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY .

Tenth floor of a hi-rise building.....

AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM....

You open the door...
NOW, REMEMBER THE FLOOR IS JUST A PAINTED FLOOR !

KINDA TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY.....
DOESN'T IT?

Scroll sloooooooowly.
.....


Would this mess up your mind??? Would you
be able to walk in To this bathroom???


THIS IS A CEILING MURAL IN A SMOKER'S LOUNGE.



Happy Humpday, ya'll ... :)

I love this ....

Georgia Gumbo

Well, wasn't too time consuming throwing this together ... I'm gonna let it simmer all day long, then we'll have it over some rice tonight. Smells delicious!

Gumbo Sunday

**UPDATE** I dislike how the order of photos are displayed here ... they post them backward from what you upload them, so ... to see the progression, please view from the bottom picture upward.
Trying out a new recipe today ... One of my patients (at work, we refer to them as "members") who lives in Louisiana told me how to make it the other day ... let's hope Quality Monitoring weren't listening to THAT phone convo ... anyway, I'm gonna try it today ... there are many different "meat" variations (*snap* minds outta the gutter) for this recipe, but today I'm gonna use chicken and polish sausage. I'm a bit unclear about the roux, though, but I am gravy-savvy, so .. surely I can figure it out! Will let ya'll know how it turns out.

Yesterday, we finished painting our bedroom at the cabin and Marty laid the carpet ... in the pictures, you'll be able to appreciate the contrast of "before and after", as the former renters were big John Deere fans, as you can tell by the current colors of the kitchen. THIS will be changing as well. Any suggestions for colors? Next weekend, we'll get our bed at Round Barn and get the bedroom finished, then start on the kitchen/living room area. We're all planning a big cookout up there next weekend, complete with a big, nice fire to celebrate Springtime and the lake levels being better this year.

Gumbo time!

Moles and Interviews

Marty's moles are shaved/biopsied ... they did 4 instead of 3 ... told him, "If you don't hear from us within 2 weeks, give us a call." HEALTHCARE ... in what other business could you get away with this kind of practice?? Say, your car is "clanking and clunking" .. you take it to the Mazda dealership and they agree to take a look at it ... "if you don't hear from us in a couple of weeks, just give us a call." UH NO, YOU CALL ME AS SOON AS YOU KNOW SOMETHING, @#$#@!. Ahh, in a perfect world ... and I'm in the healthcare field.

Interview Monday was very informal ... the gal liked me, I liked her ... couldn't quote me a wage, but could tell me it would not be what I'm currently making, but felt confident that the paid mileage would "more than make up for the difference". Hmmmmm ... also, "they" were only allowing her to fill a PRN position (as needed/relief) with the hopes of it morphing into something more steady. Again, hmmmmm ... I already have a PRN-of-sorts job in the works at my old hospital. I have since been called by the gal for a 2nd "formal" interview, but have not completely decided for or against moving forward with this. The hesitancy, which is also my gut-feeling, is a sign ... over the years, I've really learned to pay attention to my gut, and will most likely call her today and decline the 2nd interview. In this ecomony, it's reassuring to know that there are options for a nurse ... thank god I went to nursing school, that's all I've got to say. For now, though, I've got to "cowgirl-up", or as my daughter puts it, "put my big-girl panties on" and settle back into my current job and find a way to make it work for me. It's a good job ... pays very well ... I'm able to work from my own home ... and I'm good at what I do. So, there it is ... :) OH, by the way, the audit this week at work went well ... we represented our company in a very professional light, so the supervisors are breathing a sigh of relief yesterday afternoon, as were we. Who would have thought that RNs could actually save the day!? (can you tell I'm punchy today?)

OK enough ranting for the moment ... Kayla is home from work w/ flu symptoms ... even though she's 21, she still wants her mamma. :)

Ya'll have a good day!