Monday, December 29, 2008

a blog virgin no more

I have read others' ... I have wondered what I'd say if I started writing one of my own ... do I have anything to say? Do I want others reading it? Will anyone care what I have to say? Do I even care if others care? Well, my conclusion is apparent .... here I am, writing my first blog. I encourage others to "write down their thoughts" for stress management. It's about time I took my own advice. Now, if I could just start exercising!

I was totally NOT into Christmas this year. I'm not altogether sure why, though. I think I may be going through some sort of depressive era in my life. I have much to be thankful for, and things could be a whole lot worse, so, of course I feel guilty feeling depressed about things. Hell, I feel guilty if the wind blows sometimes. Is this a woman thing? ... a nurse thing? ... a mother thing?

I live in beautiful Georgia, 20 hours from my aging parents, who's health is quickly declining. I get frequent, sometimes comical but mostly pissy updates from one of my brothers as to the most recent "circus activity". My step-mother, who I will refer to as my mother cause that's really what she is after 30 years, worked 2 jobs most of her life and retired Feb, 2008. Since that time, her health has turned 180 degrees. She was recently diagnosed with Rheumatoid Arthritis, but moreso I think her problems are undiagnosed depression (and possibly mania thrown in there at times). My dad, who has always enjoyed drinking, has really been enjoying it lately ... to the point where he's fallen twice in the past week, the last being at my brother's house Christmas night while showering, where he proceeded to tear down the shower curtain, and while trying to get up, pulled the toilet tank from the wall AT THE PIPE. After my brother had to pick my naked dad up off the floor, an argument ensued. My dad wanted to drink more before bed ... my brother said NO. *sigh*

My brother and I used to joke about "who gets who" when the time comes ... he always said he'd take his mom, who was going to be pleasantly confused and funny in her final days ... and I was going to get my dad, who was going to be a pissed-off man, who's body has failed him. Sheesh ... I keep trying to get my brother to trade me ... he won't even hear of it. It's not a joke anymore ... I'm afraid the day is coming sooner rather than later. Not sure what will happen, but I do know my brother resents that I'm way out here. Or maybe it's just my guilt kicking in again.

I know people go through this ... it's not just me/us. Everyone's parents get older. It's heart-breaking sometimes, isn't it? They have worked so hard all their lives ...

I'm not sure what I expect from blogging ... do I feel better after having written this? A little ... will anyone respond and let me know that I'm not alone? Maybe ... hopefully. I am going to make an effort to write something everyday ... even if it's just a few lines. Maybe I really do know what I'm talking about. :) Hey, I do feel better.


  1. Hey Marcy....I saw that you started following my blog so I was curious. I myself enjoy blogging even though it has gotten me into trouble many many times. My advice as long time blogger and one who has seen and done it all......just write for you. Don't worry about the readers, chances are there will be more of them when you are writing like no one is reading.

    Have you been around blogland very long?

  2. Just arrived in blogland this morning ... been curious about it for a long time. I will take your advice and write for myself. :) I always appreciate someone with the gift of words, so I hope you don't mind that I'm following your blog. I also figure, you can't have too many friends, so .. if I happen to gain a few along the way ... bonus!

    That being said, I have to admit, I enjoy reading others' as well. It's a bit like reality TV, but in reading format. heh Some folks put it ALL out there, ya know?

  3. I tend to be one of those "putting it all out there" people, hence the trouble I've been in.

    Welcome to the blogosphere...and it's true, you can't have too many friends and blog buddies can be some of the loyalest friends you'll find.

  4. Congratulations on your decision to blog! And guess what, I think most of us have crazy stories to tell like this - enjoyed your entries.Thanks for checking on ours and linking - it's a honor to me when someone does that. happy New Year!Jean